It's been a while but this one is a doozy, I promise. Have a seat....
This weekend was a dance at school that I was in charge of. Preparations were hectic but normal I suppose. The decorations were beautiful and everybody was ready to have a lovely time. I even hired a DJ that I was certain would play appropriate music and allow the kids to have a good time while being modest. I was "certain" because I explained myself ad nauseam, explicitely stating what I did and did not want played. He also assured me that he was a God fearing man and knows how to play appropriate music. All good and well....until the dance begain.
First song.."It's getting hot in here..." Seriously dude....appropriate? So, the principal asks me (and you have to love his humor)"are we ok with everyone 'taking off all their clothes?" Which of course, we were not..
Long story (and I do mean LOOONG story) short..he continued (against our wishes, expressed over and over) to play very inappropriate music. During which he repeatedly stopped to ask the students to stop their "bumping" and "grinding". He then proceeded to stop the music in the middle of the dance to lead the students in an Our Father.
Ok. So, the kids were mad that we prayed. The principal was mad at the DJ. The DJ was mad at the principal. I was mad at everybody. It was a gloriously decorated, glittery train wreck and if I hadn't been in charge I would have left.
The DJ's polar, nay, completely compartmentalized view of faith left me baffled. How can you play that kind of music and expect them not to dance that way? How else do you dance to 'Ridin' Dirty?' Please tell me? Then, in the midst of aiding their demoralizing moves you want them to pray? Argh.
That being said, I was beside myself with dissapointment that these students, at a Catholic school, where we pray many many times a day, in the same room that we celebrate Mass and share in the body and blood of Christ could not be polite enough to say a prayer? Please.
But an even bigger problem than the fact that they danced that way is that they see absolutely nothing wrong with the fact that they were dancing that way. Nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch. But somehow it seemed weird and innapropriate that in the same instance as dancing 'that' way they should be asked to pray. They get it..they just don't know it.
So today I began my class with a dilemma for them.
"I need your opinion" I said. "Friday night, I went to a party by myself. I was having a grand old time, visiting and laughing with my friends until one of them asked me where my husband was and how he'd been doing. Can you believe that? They asked me about my husband when he clearly was not there and I was just at this party minding my own business trying to have fun. So, I got angry and I went off a little bit. I even threatened to leave the party. My friends think I overreacted. What do you think?"
*confused looks* "But, Ms. Amy they just asked you about your husband, how he was? Whats the big deal?"
"The big deal" I responded, "is that I was trying to have fun, not friggin talk about my husband. I wasn't home with him, I was at a party having fun. When I'm at home with him thats all fine and good but not away from it all."
*more confusion* "But, you overreacted. He's your husband even when you're not with him. Its not that big of a deal to talk about him. You love him and...we don't understand."
But being the smart cookies that they are, they caught on. "Wait, is this a true story?"
I admitted to my whitel lie and asked them if they made the connection. If I believe in God and I am a praying person, then not being in Church doesnt mean I cease to love him.
They caught on eventually and we had a nice talk about the dance.
This ordeal upset me a great deal and I have a deep sadness for these kids, who I love and who I know are good in the truest sense of the word. I'm also at a loss for what to do for prom.
Any ideas?
oh sadness.
ReplyDeletehire a swing band for prom?
jk. I'm so sorry that it went that way. I LOVE the way you handled it with your class. There has got to be a good DJ somewhere, and maybe you could make a list of those common songs that he might be tempted to play and write up a contract that says "I will not play any of the following:..." haha. Gotta do what you gotta do.
Great to have you blog a bit :)
Hi Amy,
ReplyDeleteSounds like the DJ was either a jerk or a real idiot. Like you, I don't understand his inability to play appropriate music when it seems you made it perfectly clear what kinds of music you wanted and did NOT want played. There are TONS of great dance songs from the past 30 years that would have been appropriate for this dance, so it's not like you were restricting the DJ with your request.
Unfortunately, even our Catholic high school students are very impressionable and subject to negative influences which can quickly tempt or lead them to do things they shouldn't be doing. I understand why you were disappointed with them and they are not without blame, but it seems to me the DJ was the real culprit here.
My suggestion for future DJs is to insist on a playlist of songs to be played (in advance) and you "approve" or "reject" each individual song well before the dance. Since the school is paying the DJ, he should not have a problem playing the kind of music you want played. It's not rocket science. The school is his client and a good DJ should only play the kind of music that makes the client happy.
Anyway, it sounded like an interesting evening and I'm glad you were able to use the event to educate your students a little. They are subjected/exposed to so much that is negative and sexual in our society. You have to simply do your best. That's why I like the Prayer to St. Michael. It reminds all of us (young and old) that Satan's legions are always on the prowl seeking the ruin of our souls. I'm sure most Catholics don't even know that prayer anymore.
Don't dwell on the past, though. It is over and you can't do anything about it except learn from it. Sometimes things go bad even when we try hard. You can only do your best.
I enjoyed the post, however, and it felt like I was reading a column by Mary Beth Bonacci! :-)
Happy Ash Wednesday. I hope you have a good Lent.
-Lee
amylou-
ReplyDelete1. you are precious
2.awesome response to the class! you're so good at what you do!
3. i'm with earthie minus the JK part. get a swingband and instructor and let them learn how to swing, it's VERY fun. the majority will like it! you know a few will want the gross ones but just substitute with some of our 8th grade dance songs---love shack, YMCA, Shout!, beachboys, beatles, WHAT IS WRONG WITH THOSE.... we were so lucky. they were only just beginning to sart the "i like big Butts and i cannot lie"....
whatever you do will be great! i'll be brainstorming.
i'm so jealous of earthie's upcoming weekend.... miss you!