the eye of a camel...

And so Lent has begun and thus marks a year since I've started this blog. No, I haven't been the most faithful but its been very enjoyable for me and even healing at times.

I had one of those moments today. I was walking down the hall at work, feeling very misunderstood and persecuted and stuff and I desperately wanted to run to my humble, unread blog and type until my little hands fell off. Of course I was actually at work and had no time to do so. Why so misunderstood you ask? Well, it seems this little dance issue has become somewhat of a situation of persecution for me. I know, it sounds silly, "it's just a dance" or so they say. But, in essence, it has revealed the level of surrender of many people around me.
Up until this point, the 4 months that I have worked there, I have been a pleasant presence from what I can gather. People have enjoyed me, related to me, complimented me and even marveled I think in the genuine humanity (and oh how human i am) of a 'young' 'religious' woman. There is a level of Catholicism or truth that true and Catholic people desire. It encompases many things, many issues; morality which they are proud to stand up for, issues which are heated in the world. But there is also an area beyond that level in which those who cross the line become 'other'. It seems that dirty dancing and calling children to prayer (at the very least out of respect)in the moment of a social activity, places one big ugly toe over that line.
I got a call today from a parent who's child had a "miserable time" at the dance and will not be attending anymore of our dances. His reasons? Because the music was stopped to acknowledge God and thus his fun was thwarted. Her advice to me? "It's not that big of a deal you know. It's just a dance. I think you should let them hear the music they want to hear and dance the way they dance. I mean, I go to clubs and dance that way myself." And...therein lies the problem.
The level which we really need to reach to address the issue, is beyond our reach. Parents are the first educators of the faith. Even when we, after 14 years are allowed to be "co-educators" with them, we compete with a big, twisted world that is much louder and flashier than our lone voice crying out in the wilderness. In spite of that, it is not parents who I feel persecuted by, though they certainly add splinters to the cross. At the end of the day its those people who have complimented me and raised me up, those who have patted me on the back and "been behind me in all that I do", those people that called themselves my friends who now look at me with squinted eye and tilt their head and say almost in unison with these parents; "it's not that big of a deal you know, its just a dance."
The kids however, inspite of all they have fighting for their souls everyday, still give me hope. Precisely because they are that, kids, they smile and laugh and live the best they know how. Furthermore, they believe in me even if they don't know why just yet.
And....they make me laugh.

Question on the last test I gave on Veritatis Splendor: "In your own words, recall the story of the Rich Young Man and Jesus."

Answer: "..............and when the Rich Young Man walked away sad Jesus said to his disciples, ' It is easier for the eye of a camel to pass through a needle than it is for a rich man to enter into heaven."

Indeed.