Slowly learning the meaning of fasting...

I've come to the conclusion that I have never really understood what 'fasting' is. I mean sure I've known what the word means, I've probably heard and read what learned people have to say on the subject and I've even made a few sad attempts at actually doing it myself. But really getting to the root of it all......has somehow escaped me. I say 'somehow' like I don't know what it is....lets be honest here. This is a result of my immaturity and lack of self discipline. Lately the subject has come up again and again and it seems to be getting my sincere attention now. I've also been contemplating on the vast difference between dieting and fasting. The staff at Wisdom has challenged each other to a weight loss/get healthy competition this Lent and we are serious. But where and how does our call to fast fit in there. I know that it's not the same to try and lose weight and to offer sacrifice, although trying to lose weight can be a great sacrifice.
I think the first nudge for me this Lent to understand fasting better was Pope Benedict's Lenten Message for 2009. He says, "In the New Testament, Jesus brings to light the profound motive for fasting, condemning the attitude of the Pharisees, who scrupulously observed the prescriptions of the law, but whose hearts were far from God. True fasting, as the divine Master repeats elsewhere, is rather to do the will of the Heavenly Father, who “sees in secret, and will reward you” (Mt 6,18)"
Fasting is to rid ourselves of those things that keep us from God. We must fulfill the desire for those earthly goods with the ultimate good of presence with God. (see the quote at the top of this blog). Ultimately fasting is a way to train our bodies to reject sin.
He points out how the early Church fathers spoke of Adam and Eve's 'eating the apple' as the first rejection of a call to fast. I have never made this connection before and it is blowing my genesis loving mind right now. How can we fill our sensual desires with the love of God? Not as some sort of awkward thing that is posited onto our humanity but as a real and specific answer to the question of our specific desire?! This is a point that deserves lots of thought and meditation. Or maybe it is a point that requires that I jump right in and experience it for myself.
I suggest that you read his whole Lenten address. Here is a sample...



"We might wonder what value and meaning there is for us Christians in depriving ourselves of something that in itself is good and useful for our bodily sustenance. The Sacred Scriptures and the entire Christian tradition teach that fasting is a great help to avoid sin and all that leads to it. For this reason, the history of salvation is replete with occasions that invite fasting. In the very first pages of Sacred Scripture, the Lord commands man to abstain from partaking of the prohibited fruit: “You may freely eat of every tree of the garden; but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall die” (Gn 2, 16-17). Commenting on the divine injunction, Saint Basil observes that “fasting was ordained in Paradise,” and “the first commandment in this sense was delivered to Adam.” He thus concludes: “ ‘You shall not eat’ is a law of fasting and abstinence” (cf. Sermo de jejunio: PG 31, 163, 98). Since all of us are weighed down by sin and its consequences, fasting is proposed to us as an instrument to restore friendship with God. Such was the case with Ezra, who, in preparation for the journey from exile back to the Promised Land, calls upon the assembled people to fast so that “we might humble ourselves before our God” (8,21). The Almighty heard their prayer and assured them of His favor and protection. In the same way, the people of Nineveh, responding to Jonah’s call to repentance, proclaimed a fast, as a sign of their sincerity, saying: “Who knows, God may yet repent and turn from his fierce anger, so that we perish not?” (3,9). In this instance, too, God saw their works and spared them."
MESSAGE OF HIS HOLINESS
BENEDICT XVI
FOR LENT 2009


What are your experiences and thoughts about fasting?

'Real' good.

A few thoughts today:

First:

This morning as I was brushing my teeth I was having a conversation with myself. Not out loud mind you, or I would have gotten toothpaste and spit all over the place, but in my head. I was thinking about all the things I want for my daily life, all the things I'd like to have in order and about how many excuses I made to keep myself from doing them. A typical moment might go something like this;

Alarm sounds*
"Self, it's 6 am, you really should get up and pray and exercise you know."

"Yes Self, I know! But I work such long hours sometimes and when I get home there is still food to fix and a house to clean and a baby to take care of. I'm soooo tired. I deserve this extra sleep. It's the least I can do for me."

"Self, you know you're right. You do deserve this sleep. Hit that snooze button and if it dares to go off again in 9 minutes, hit it again!"

I'm awful polite with myself arent I?

So..like I said, as I was brushing my teeth I thought. "Self, you are waaay too polite to me. So polite that I make excuses for me and end up not doing anything at all that requires the least bit of discipline. So, what I'm saying is....stop it!"

So what happens when I stop being polite? (and start getting real?) 10 points for anyone who recognizes the old school 'Real World' line.
I need to get real with myself. Sure, my excuses are valid. And I could (and usually do) justify them to get out of whatever difficult task that is before me. But should I? what do I get out of it? I get further in the hole thats what. I become less and less of the person I want to be.

Second thought:
The velveteen rabbit is one of my favorite stories. I think because as a kid I had so many stuffed animals there was often very little room in the bed for me to sleep. I sincerely believed that they were real, especially the ones I loved the most, and knew for sure that once I left the room they began talking and moving around. So, when I grew up and read the Velveteen Rabbit for the first time I fell in love with it. I think of this story every time I think about the word REAL and what it might mean. That little velveteen rabbit was loved with such intensity that he became real...and thats all there was to it. I think the most REAL we can be as humans, the fullest expression of our humanity (as it was intended) is to be holy- to be Saints. And, contrary to our belief about our efforts, the main ingredient for that is the unwavering love of our creator. That love, if we let it, can and will make us into who we were intended to be in the first place and THAT is holiness.

Third:
There is a book on my nightstand called "Vice over Virtue" by Archbishop Fulton Sheen (my favorite Lenten buddy). This morning I was reading a little snippit and a line caught my attention. He was speaking about how we sin because we love the flesh. He said , "the only way to stop sinning is to find something that we love more than the flesh." This reminded me of a phrase Dean Schindler used to say in class " How do you get a drug addict to stop doing drugs? Not by saying "don't do drugs thats for sure. You must make him fall in love with something else." that something in both cases has to be God. We have to understand his love for us so that we might love him in return. I don't know if I'll ever come close to REALLY understanding it but being a mother sure has helped.

Tied all together:

If I'm going to stop 'making excuses'. If I'm going to be able to get real...to become REAL...to be holy then I have to really seek to know God's love for me and then let my life be a simple response of gratitude to that love. It wont be much in comparison but it will be a joy to God. All I have to do is see my baby boy smile once in response to my silly "I love you" and I know that its true.

Hope your ashes lasted all day!

Take 2!

Ok, it's 2009 and Lent begins tomorrow. I started this blog at the beginning of lent (see here) to follow my progress in my lenten sacrifices. For the most part I did a good job with the journal (and the sacrifices for that matter). That was a few years ago. I wasn't married. I wasn't a mom. I didnt have a job (unless you count teaching Gymboree classes).
So, it's a new year. I am a wife and a mother and a busy campus minister...and things in my life need to be reordered- namely my prayer life, my marriage, my physical health and my time management.
I've ordered the books, gotten the spiritual director, started the diet (well...tomorrow), planned the excersize, resolved to pray, work out, listen, speak with charity and say yes to the opportunity to die to self. I would also like to journal about these things and since I'm bad at journaling...blogging will have to do.


55 minutes and counting.... Lets go.