vulnerable memories

I'm feeling a little nostalgic tonight. I was looking for a quote earlier in an old journal and I started to read some of my entries. That's always good for a laugh right? Anyway, I've never been much of a poet. I guess I never quite understood how it was supposed to happen. Fiction seems kind of obvious to me. Ok, so I've only ever wrote one story that anyone else has ever read,(she shameless plug here) but thats beside the point. All this to say that I ran across this poem/reflection that I wrote one day over 3 years ago. It's so funny to see how I thought then. It's even funnier to see that I'm not such the different person that I think I am. I'm still the same me, only made new a few hundred times over again, and still wretched....we can't forget that. So anyway, for nostaligia's sake and for my own humility, here it is;

In the beginning was pure love's desire…to be loved and to love. A thought, a dream, a plan, and an understanding that freedom was required, for true love is a paradox: freedom choosing to bind itself.
In one eternal self-giving action the potential for true love was spun into being. The co-existence of order and novelty in its completion; Beauty in His image and likeness.
And so it was…and it was good.
But this princess soon turned her head from her King and caught a glimpse of the harlot within. It was in this image that she veiled herself, quickly forgetting her lover and His song. …yet he continued to sing with a broken heart, pure and alluring. He pursued her allowing her a life that is free, unbridled, provocative and beautiful. He leads her to the desert and allures her to himself and if she is quiet she will hear Him and come running back and His heart will again be made glad. She soon forgets however and goes running off again. So, to truly exhaust His inexhaustible love, He goes to her instead of simply calling her from afar. He casts off his kingly attire for rags and dust and seeks her in her own place and gives himself to her in love. In “courtship” He gives an invitation, never forcing, never wavering, waiting..."waiting is never disinterested passivity, but the highest form of interest in the other" (Jurgen Moltmann) It is hers to take or leave. If she accepts however and gives in to his pursuit of love she will no doubt be taken in, overcome. She will finally learn to sit in peace and listen to the words he speaks to her heart. There she will come to know His mind and His heart. She will feel His love for her and through sacrifice she will reside in joy and freedom. It is her choice... And if in the end He sees that she has truly chosen to love Him with all of her being. If both the harlot and the princess within have been spent in devotion, He will ask for her hand. He will ask her to join Him eternally as His bride. The heavenly banquet will be joy beyond understanding and there she will become one with Him and be caught up into the heavens.


You can cut the drama with a knife:)