St. Joseph, Bday of BVM and a california roll.

Currently: Watching the movie "Hoodwinked". - It's almost as bad as Doogal. Almost.


I've watched a lot of movies lately and two entire seasons of 24. I dream of covert missions in my sleep.

Partly this is due to the fact that we don't have cable and only recently got an antenna (we now catch 3 spanish stations and an equal number of televangelist networks. joy.) In all honesty though, a lack of cable shouldn't keep a bibliophile like myself in front of a television for so many hours a day. The real reason for my apathy has been due to the fact that I just cannot find a job. For two months in Louisiana I did nothing but prepare for the wedding everyday and spend time with family (save for a 2 week stretch of substitute teaching). It was a welcomed rest from school and I was so busy addressing envelopes and working out that I never wished once that I had more to occupy my time. When we finally got here it was sorta fun to have all this time to spend together and furnish our little abode and explore the new city. About 3 weeks ago however, I reached my limit.

I don't get depressed often but the feeling of a lack of "purpose" in my life hit me so hard that at first I didn't even realize why I was sad. Thank God he blessed me with the greatest husband in the world who handled me with love, patience and as many Non fat White Mochas as I could handle. Now I'm the first one to wax poetic about how it's not what you 'do' that makes you who you are and that being human is a tremendous purpose in itself. Furthermore, I agree with my professors and JPII himself that 'to be' a woman and a human for me means precisely 'to be' a mother. Hubby and I both agree that God is calling us to remedy our financial problems, at least partially, before we physically become parents (though I have to admit that I think we'd both be happy if the good Lord surprised us early :) but a marriage is fruitful from the first moment right? We bear fruit to each other and to others in lots of ways everyday. I agree. There are some ways however which I personally yearn to give myself to others- namely in sharing with them the blessing I've received in my education and experience. When there is no outlet for such a gift I feel sterile (for lack of a better word) and depression set in.

This week after having 'words' with the Lord and some gentle encouragement from Hubby I decided to stop wallowing in my sadness and get myself straight. I discovered reading again, which I always love. I became a bit obsessed with long pensive walks and I blew the dust off of my little blog page here. I also decided to put some time on my movement. I began a novena, yet again, to the giver of all gifts, through the intercession of the patron of workers (and one of my personal patrons) St. Joseph, to find a job that might allow me to make use of the gift of my education in the service of others. The novena ends on Monday. If no such job should present itself then on Tuesday i will look for other employment...Starbucks, or a nanny job, something I can do until...

Consequently, a very small possibility presented itself today. I actually nothing to report about it just yet but until I know more please please keep me in your prayers.

On a lighter note, today is the Birthday of our Holy Mamma.....Mary! I order everyone reading this...all 2 of you...to go out and celebrate this joyous occasion. Have some cake and sing a little ditty of "happy birthday to you", even if it's just to yourself before you go to sleep. She is the morning star and the cause of our joy....not to mention that she embodies all that we are to be as creatures, women and mothers!

Lets go eat some sushi!