.. and follow me

Thursday March 2nd

My alarm went off promptly at 7a.m this morning so that I could take my temperature.

****I'm not sick or weird (well maybe I'm a little weird but we can get into that more as Lent goes by) I'm preparing for marriage. So, like any good, JPII Institute student girl getting married I'm learning all about NFP or like my Redemption of Sexuality prof likes to call it "Fertility Awareness". In any case the alarm goes off at 7 every morning for me to take my temperature.***

I reset it for 7:50 (the last possible minute I can wake up, throw clothes on and still make it to 8:00 Mass down the street) and went back to sleep. The next time I opened my eyes it was 8:11. Supposedly I had forgotten to switch the alarm button back to 'on' but in reality I think God was slacking on his end of the deal. In any case I was not a happy camper and I let the Almighty know in no uncertain terms.

I had been inconvenienced! Now when would I work out? When would I study? The whole flow of the day was off now and there was no redemption to be found.

My loving Jesus quickly hit me over the head with the fact that daily Mass is in fact not a right. It is a priveledge. Oh yeah.

Long story not so short, I stayed home, did "gym in a box" (worthy of it's own blog) and went to noon Mass at St. Mark's on the other side of town. I've never been to daily Mass there before and I quickly noticed that I was the only person under the age of 60 save for the homeschooling mom and her 5 little ducklings sitting across the aisle from me.

My prayer before Mass was candid, odd, and a little uncanny even to me. "Yeah, so I want a nice body Lord. So what? I study the Theology of the Body, it only makes sense right? I mean, I don't want to be a supermodel, I just want thin thighs. You have thin thighs (looking at crucifix).

** At this point I was struck by the absurdity of what I had just prayed. Jesus has thin thighs. On the cross. And I was being envious. ***

"OK...maybe you were concerned with more than thin thighs at that exact moment Lord. I'm not saying it's not possible. But this right now, today, Is what this pear-shaped girl is concerned with, among other things. If it's selfish, let me know. If it's superficial, change my heart. Otherwise, help me out a little!"
**Tap on my shoulder**
"Excuse me, are you Esther Brown?" "No, I"m not" "Oh, Ok sorry"

Random.

Anyway, then came the gospel and all seemed trivial. Take up your cross. We know this part, we do it everyday. Take it up? No prob. I've got lots of things on my back; people who aggrivate me, lots of school work, relationships, wedding plans, lack of funds, too many calories...etc etc.

And.

Follow me. There it is, the clincher. Don't just take it up, take it up, close your yap and walk in my footsteps. I have put before you life and death... and you want thin thighs.

I also want life for the record. I think both life and thin thighs require death, I know they do, but not just any death, death in Christ, with Christ, for Christ.

This gospel is what my fiancee and I picked as the gospel reading at our wedding. There is no other phrase that better exemplifies a loving relationship such as marriage than "take up your cross daily and follow me.."