"Remember, you are dust and to dust you shall return"

March 1st, 2006. Ash Wednesday.

I realized something early on today, something I probably knew before. I am really good at beginnings. This of course says little about middles or ends, both of which I am mediocre at best, but beginnings are excellent. I think it's all about the new start, the rebirth of it all. Its so Catholic.

So today, true to form, I awoke bright and early with vigor in my step. Ok..maybe not vigor but I was more awake than normal. I threw on some decent clothes and trotted down to St. Jerome's for daily Mass (one of my Lenten promises). I did notice there were more attendants than normal but the church was by no means packed. It felt good to be there, good to pray, good to get a dark defined cross of ashes on my forhead. I got home and promtly fixed my healthy breakfast, cleaned my room and put my gym clothes on. (all part of the new lenten me)

Lets go back a bit... during Mass I made a deal with God, something else I"m pretty keen on. In actuality there wasn't much dealing there, it's pretty much all on Him. I just participate. Which is my call anyway right? The deal: In going to Mass everyday and receiving the eucharist, He gives me the strength to fulfill all of my other Lenten promises just for that day. Furthermore, in fulfilling all of my Lenten promises for the day, He gives me strength to get to Mass the next day, one day at a time. It's brilliant, foolproof even, and I can't wait to see how long it takes me to screw it up.

I made it to the gym earlier than normal and in the 2 minutes that it takes to walk from my car to the door I had already forgotten it was Lent. The stares and strange looks I got reminded me pretty quickly and when I got to the front counter and the guy at the desk looked at my forhead while saying "Oh S***! It's Ash Wednesday, I need to go to Mass!" I had to laugh a little. I'm used to a place where everyone is very aware what day it is precisely because they were so aware what yesterday was. Everybody is Catholic in South Louisiana and everybody celebrates Mardi Gras. Therefore, you're never the only one with ashes on your head. That wasn't my experience today but we'll chalk it up to the fact that it was still before 10 a.m.

My classmates and I were talking tonight about why Ash Wednesday is the day of the year when Mass is most attended, even by non-Catholics. What is it about a slathering of ashes on their heads that make people flock to a church they never visit otherwise? I don't have an answer really but I think it has something to do with that innate sense of our own mortality. We know we're dust and we know that thats where we're headed and somehow being reminded of that is comforting.

But here it is, the end of day one and I have indeed been given the graces to persevere. My prayers tonight will be prayers of thanksgiving.