My Morning...in two Acts.

March 7th, 2006

Act one: starring: The cynic

At approximately 7 a.m this morning, as my alarm jolted me out of sleep and I hit the snooze button in a series of "just one more minute" attempts, the local Latino community (which makes up my entire neighborhood and surrounding area) gathered together in an important yet disturbing meeting.
For the sake of other uni-linguialists out there the content of the meeting shall be both translated and summarized for your convenience (and mine since I don't speak Spanish)

"We the Latino community of Trafficville, MD having noted the presence of our neighbor Miss Amy L, slight speeder and consistant 'wave and smile' motorist, for no good reason what-so-ever except perhaps for our own sheer delight, do hearby swear to cooperate with the following happenings of the morning:

At approximately 7:15, as Ms. L is trying to get those last crucial minutes of sleep, we shall, in an act of urgency and impatience bring our children to Trafficville elementery, which by happenstance is located directly across the side steet that Ms. L's bedroom window faces. We are not to simply drive past the school calmly coming to a stop and allowing our children to exit the vehicle and walk quietly into the building. We are infact to show our impatience at the line of traffic by honking, yelling and turning our morning dance music to a volume at which all outlying areas of society may partake. We are to instruct our children to slam the door with all of their little might as they leave the car and as they run into the building we are to yell at them the 5 things we forgot to tell them earlier, ensuing more impatience, horn honking and yelling.

At approximately 7:55 a.m., as Ms. L is taking her stroll to St. Jerome's RC Church for Mass we are to release the second wave of unruly parents and children, now 25 minutes late for school, in an effort to chase Ms. L down while continuing all honk, yell, and slam rituals that would normally insue at the earlier drop off time.

At approximately 8:45 a.m, as Ms. L is stopping at the local 7Eleven to get her morning jolt of caffeine, both the parking lot and interior of the store shall appear empty and calm. Upon entering the store Ms. L shall notice still that she is alone in her patronage and shall conclude that her purchasing experience shall be that of ease. After having fixed a full cup of coffee, Ms. L, shall turn to see that the 7Eleven has now become flooded with customers causing the line to wrap around the pastry case, putting her eye to eye with freshly baked old fashioned cake doughnuts that she is not allowed to have. We solemly swear to only allow one cashier to work at one time, that cashier being either new, unnaturally slow, or extremely rude and we will try to the best of our ability to hit on Ms. L in spanish throughout the entirety of her wait.
Upon finally getting out of the line and into her car, Ms. L shall wait for minuts on end as every other car in the lot begins to back out at once causing a jam of drivers who choose to socialize in leu of tending to the problem.

At approximately 9:05 a.m., we shall send out or special task force to assist Ms. L in her drive to school through D.C. traffic. This special unit shall include only those of our community with either cars made before 1953 or drivers over the age of 80 and in many cases a combination of the two. We shall see to it that Ms. L gets stuck in the left lane for the entirety of the trip, having to stop for the entirety of 2 or 3 changing of lights in order for one of our special unit team members to turn left. In those cases when the District of Columbia has unwittingly provided a turn lane for just such an occasion, the SU team member shall place only half of his/her car in the lane leaving the other half mostly in Ms. L's lane causing her to wait for all traffic to pass before she can drive around. The special unit team, being highly trained in poor big city driving skills, shall pull out in front of, go 10 miles below the speed limit and honk at the occasion of every red light.

Let all who do not adhere to the above rules be anathema. So it is said, so shall it be done.


Act 2: starring: the cynic, and the grace of God

I woke up this morning a little before I had planned because the kids who attend the school across the street were being dropped off. At first I was groggy but as I looked out of the window I couldn't help but smile. Kids, with all the glory that they entail in their little beings were running with all their might across the playground and giggling with a joy that few adults have at 7:15 in the morning. Those parents dropping them off stopped traffic a few seconds longer in order to get one last sloppy kiss from their child that would last them through the long work day.

As I walked to Mass in the beautiful, brisk March weather I noticed that the squirrels had returned from their winter sleep and were playing with full force in the yard. Kids who's parents had given them a few extra minutes of sleep perhaps or who left for school only after they had enjoyed a full healthy breakfast, were now arriving, tardy but smiling none the less.

Mass itself was beautiful and refreshing and I felt the Lord strengthen me with his grace so that I might drag my weary and sinful body throughout the day with dignity. I enjoyed a nice breakfast and noticed that I still had enough time to stop and get a cup of coffee before making it to class.

The 7Eleven was a little crowded but people smiling and saying hello in the early morning makes even waiting in line mostly tolerable. The drive to school took a little longer than usual but since I had left early I was in no hurry and the waiting gave me more time to notice the beautiful blue skies and sing along with my new CD. As I approached the Basilica the view of that mighty dome made me thankful to live here, even for just a short time longer, and to be able to see and visit such a fantastic Church everyday.